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Heart Attack Grill’s Spokesman Blair River…

The spokesman for an unapologetic cartoon-ish grease pit for gluttony, dies standing 6’8 and nearly 600 pounds; from pneumonia at 29 years young.  He leaves behind a Heart Attack Grill of Halloween nurses for adults and lard frying technicians.  While I will never willingly follow in his footsteps and hit up Heart Attack Grill myself, I can at least say that the former state wrestling champion Blair River, lived his life to the fullest and pretty much figured out how he’ll end it.  It’s just unfortunate that his legacy didn’t go exactly the way Heart Attack Grill expected him to.  I mean, come on…pneumonia?  Really?

R.I.P. Blair River (read more…)

– MJ


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